Just A Girl
by LyricsArePoetry
Summary: Song-fic, Lynny's pov as she leaves the house...knowing she'll never return


A/N: OMGOSH THIS IS MY ONE-HUNDRETH STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just A Girl  
(Lynette's POV!):

**Take this pink ribbon off my eyes  
I'm exposed  
And it's no big surprise  
Don't you think I know  
Exactly where I stand  
This world is forcing me  
To hold your hand **

I found myself looking around in shock. This was my bedroom, of course it was, the same bedroom I'd been in for years. Most of my life. It looked different now. Everything felt so different. The whole house, the whole world. It was as if I had finally opened my eyes and seen the world for what it is. I can't stay locked inside myself any longer. That world holds no comfort for me anymore, now that I've accepted that it's not real I can't go back to believing it. I don't belong here though. This world is so full or hate and anger and shouting. I can't cope with it. I feel like a nought toddler who is pulled away from their best friend because she is a Cross.

A tear ran down my eyes as I thought about what I had just thought. I had had that experience. When I was at pre-school my best friend was Sally, and she was a Cross. My Mum and her Mum had to pull us apart literally kicking and screaming as we wanted to stay friends but we had to go to different schools. I hadn't seen Sally since that day. I hadn't even thought about her for years.

**'Cause I'm just a girl, little 'ol me  
Don't let me out of your sight  
I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite  
So don't let me have any rights **

In the past few days since I had come 'back to sanity', I had thought about so much. Life and death. Right and wrong. Noughts and Crosses. Jed and me. Callum and Sephy. Jude. Dad. Mum. Love and hate. I had practically thought about everything and it hurt. It hurt so much. I cried so much but never in front of anyone. I cried myself to sleep each night, and cried when I woke up. I missed Jed, I missed my baby. I hated the world, and I hated feeling hatred. Life was a whole vicious circle. There was no way to win when you're a nought.

I now know and will admit that I'm a nought. I'm not embarrased by it, I don't want to be something different. I just wish Jed was still here. He was my everything. He loved me and I loved him. I missed him too much.

**Oh...I've had it up to here!  
The moment that I step outside  
So many reasons  
For me to run and hide  
I can't do the little things I hold so dear  
'Cause it's all those little things  
That I fear**

I couldn't cope with the way of the world. Dad was completely right with his saying; 'If you're black that's where it's at. If you're brown stick around. If you're white say goodnight'. Noughts were nothing, always have been nothing, and always will be nothing. I can't cope with the hatred everyone has. Dad and Jude are full of it, Mum doesn't realise how much hatred she has. Callum hates change, and the way of the world. But Callum's strong, like I'm not. Callum can cope and work through any problems, whereas I can't. I feel like I'm falling apart from the inside and it hurts like hell.

One of the worst things is knowing that I could have had it all right. Me and Jed could've been together forever if it hadn't been for the hatred in the world. We didn't care about the colour of our skin, and Jed always said it was only me and him that matter. But the world wouldn't accept that. I feel so empty without him. It's like there's something missing. He's been gone three years but I've only just truly realised and accepted. My Jed, my baby, gone forever.

**'Cause I'm just a girl I'd rather not be  
'Cause they won't let me drive  
Late at night I'm just a girl,  
Guess I'm some kind of freak  
'Cause they all sit and stare  
With their eyes **

I stood up, off of my bed and walked out of my bedroom. I went into Callum's room and placed the envelope that was in my hand under his pillow. Then I went downstairs.

'See you later,' I smiled at everyone and walked out the front door. The smile was fake though. I could see in Callum's eyes that he knew it wasn't a happy smile. I just had to hope he wouldn't suspect anything before it was too late. I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I couldn't cope anymore.

The cool air hit me. It should've been refreshing but it wasn't. It was hard and cold. So reflective of this world.

**I'm just a girl,  
Take a good look at me  
Just your typical prototype  
Oh...I've had it up to here!  
Oh...am I making myself clear?  
I'm just a girl  
I'm just a girl in the world...  
That's all that you'll let me be!  
I'm just a girl, living in captivity  
Your rule of thumb  
Makes me worry some **

Love was such a powerful emotion. All the fairytales ended in a 'happily ever after' and the girl fell in love. Love conquered all. Unfortunately life isn't a fairy tale, and love doesn't conquer anything in the real world. Hate is another powerful emotion. Hate consumes all. It's all devouring. It rules and ruins. It rules this world. Everyone hates what is different. Noughts hate Crosses. Crosses hate noughts. Noughts hate the fact that they are treated as less. Yet neither are willing to do anything to sort it out. Life would be so much simpler if people just accepted the opposite. Like Jed accepted me, and I accepted Jed.

**  
I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?  
What I've succumbed to Is making me numb  
I'm just a girl, my apologies  
What I've become is so burdensome  
I'm just a girl, lucky me  
Twiddle-dum there's no comparison **

I don't hate those men who killed Jed. There's enough hate in the world without me added to it by hating three people. I don't hate anyone. I'm just tired, so very tired.

**Oh...I've had it up to!  
Oh...I've had it up to!!  
Oh...I've had it up to here!**

'Cause I'm just a girl, and I can't take it anymore.


End file.
